scream why you're hurting

i am so tired of it being an issue that i am gay...that ANYONE'S gay.
i want to be in love with him, i want to be happy with him.
i want everyone to be happy with us.
i feel like i mean nothing sometimes.
i feel like i am of no use, no value, i am young and inexperienced.
i am a fucking loser, an idiot.
GOD FUCKING DAMN ME TO THE SHIT-RIDDEN CESS POOLS OF ROTTING ENTRAILS FOR BE SUCH A GODDAMN ASSHOLE.
you are selfish
you are nothing
you are so goddamn stupid
you are fake
you are coniving
you are about to be little more than someone who WAS