i feel as if i go up and down.
i feel as if i might break down or be sick because of the jolting nature of the ride i have made for myself.
can i not just bank on what he said?
can i not just remain secure in knowing that he loves me?
why am i so fickle?

i feel frightened that i am disappointing him left and right.
i am no longer good enough,
i have lost my newness...i am no longer the most exciting.
i want to talk to you again, i want to hold you again.

i want to fall asleep with you again.

where have i gone,
where have you gone?

where have we gone?

what is the matter with me,
there is nothing to be afraid of right now,
i am being an absolute child and it is embarassing.
all the more reason for him to think of me as less,
but does he think of me as less?
does he still hold me in high regard at all?

why these questions?