In a time of trial and apology

I've received two rather noteworthy apologies today.
And after spending the last several months constantly being the one doing the apologizing, it's a very refreshing and enlivening position to hold.

That said, I just finished a response to Maekol's ex-boyfriend, Sam's note of apology for some rudeness on his part during last week and I felt it warranted placement in my blog along side my other documentings of time's passage.


Sam,

I accept and appreciate your apology.
I'll admit I was made slightly uncomfortable by your insistence on coming over the other night mainly because I don't ever like being put into a situation where I have little to no choice in the matter.
I just find it to be without consideration on the part of the one making the demand and it is quite rude.

That said, I wanted to extend my own apology for saying that you were drunk. I must have misunderstood you during our phone conversation that night. There was a point in the discourse where I believed you to have mentioned that you were "trashed."
You very well might have said something like "trapped" or been commenting on everyone around you. Whatever the case, my misunderstanding led to me conveying an untruth to Maekol in my discussion of the situation.
For that, I am sorry.

I'm happy to know that you're looking to be civil and can see it in your message. However, considering the present situation in regard to your talking with Michaela about Maekol's and Tommy's frustrations with her, I must admit that I have begun to consider you with a moderate amount of wariness.

I'm glad to hear that you apologized to Tommy for speaking out of turn but at the same time, Michaela is still refraining from speaking directly with the boys as a result of your unnecessary input and that frustrates and disappoints me on behalf of all 3 of my friends who are now hurting because of the complexities of the situation.
This is not meant as a roundabout way of placing some kind of blame on you by any means. This is me making sure to let you know why it is I have grown more standoffish toward you of late.

I haven't harbored ill will for you in any fashion previously and this time period is more sensitive because of how much I am seeing what's conspired as a result of gossip hurting Tommy and Maekol.
As you are well aware, Maekol is my best friend.
I love him very, very much and hate to see him hurting.
Thus, when he is hurt, I am very protective and defensive against those involved in inflicting the upset.

Unfortunately, in this situation you happened to be a part of the source of that upset warranting the raising of my guards.

I, too would like to be civil in this but simultaneously I think it's understood that while we are able to get along, we've got conflicting positions with regard to what's best for this group of friends.

I understand that you're in something of a strenuous time of life what with relocation, joblessness, and a general sense of lacking direction. There are numerous external factors contributing to your difficulties right now and those things are acknowledged as being out of your control.
And yet, in lieu of working out a definite plan of long term action for yourself, I would advise that you focus on the small victories.

-Find some kind, any kind of employment (I know it's incredibly difficult to do so in the current state of things but it's not impossible and the ability to support yourself will be rewarding and maturing.)

-Find housing outside of your present situation (From what I've been told by both you and those around you, you're far from happy there and the people who reside with you sound as if they're heavily detracting from your ability to find success.)

-Assist in the diplomatic repair of Michaela's relationship with two of her closest and dearest friends (Whether this means re-couching the things you imparted about Tommy's and Maekol's opinions or simply stepping out of their triad long enough for them to clarify and heal everything solely within themselves.)

These things will each provide you with an individual sense of completion and accomplishment. Thus, you'll find yourself working toward realistic goals and ensure your own growth of inward peace, self-satisfaction, personal security, and maturity of behavior.

Considering the fact that we are all on the same path toward these common goals, understand that I'm not singling you out by advising these things. I'm doing the same for myself, as it Maekol, as is Tommy, as is Michaela.

Be intentional, be considerate, make a point of thinking carefully about the ways in which your actions consequentially affect those around you. And avoid inflating anything to a higher level of sensationalism than necessary. Just take everything you encounter with a grain of salt and focus on the essentials as opposed to making light of the frivolousness of gossip and melodrama.

I think you'll find yourself in a much happier place.

I have no qualms about being your friend but you must understand that I've made a decisive point of surrounding myself only with people who edify and encourage me and those I love.
If ever a person begins to detract from the well being of those I care about and/or myself, I hold them at an arm's length until they either make amends for wrongdoing or prove their integrity consistently improving their behavior.

I know I've left you with quite a lot to consider.
Just think on it.

Please feel free to ask me any questions you might have.

Sincerely,
Noah