When She Gave Me Lemons

Hello Lauren Williams,

It certainly has been quite some time.
I will say that our last real conversation of any consequence was more of an ultimatum on my part than a dialogue. That being the case I guess I ought to see to it that this time around I let you know right up front that I'll be doing a lot of the talking.

(This IS a message after all and I guess it goes without saying that that simple fact predicates it being one-sided).

First off: I owe you an apology.

I know.
It's crazy, out of left field, unanticipated, and so on.
Nonetheless, it's true.
Whatever the circumstances I should not have publicly exploded on you the way I did that fateful afternoon in the cafeteria.
I'll be forthright in saying that while I wish to make amends for how I said what I said, I don't mean to take back what I said.

Truthfully Lauren, I was very hurt by what happened those months and years ago. I felt as if I had been deceived and then betrayed.
And by two beautiful women who I considered friends, no less.

And yet, in having had these past seasons to ponder just what it all meant and how it was all meant to be, I've come to some very enlightening realizations: your actions were not inspire by spite or punitive intention; you had limited options; and you were surrounded by people and an institution influencing you to do what was "right" according to an arbitrary set of human-set ethics.

Clearly, to make you out as some sort of villainess would be not only inaccurate but also hypocritical.
Much like myself, you were doing only what you could with what you had.

And while the topic of my sexuality is an unavoidable and integral aspect of my person as a whole, it is minimal in comparison to the overwhelming beauty that is you and me and everyone we know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if there was ever any question about it in your mind, Lauren, know that I've let it go.
It's forgiven, it's over, it's past.

And you're still you and I'm still me.

And really, what more could either one of us ask for?

I wish you happiness, peace, and the presence that comes with them.

Namaste,
Noah C. Buck