coming through fire doesn't mean there is no burn

i feel as if i am in a sort of limbo.
i know that i am coming into a higher level of this relational purgatory but it seems so unsure all of the sudden.

we spoke about whether or not we would stay together...
...but we never finished the conversation.
i spent a day in misery (because of many things) and felt unduely awkward...
...but he still sat on my lap.
i went to sleep without a kiss...
...but then i was awoken by him climbing into my bed.
i tried to sleep next to him...
...but i dreamt in harsh discomfort.

i hate to bring it all up again, but i think i just need to talk about this.