When moments like this puncture the tarpaulin I've pulled over my rain-streaked and shivering form I stop dreading the inevitable rain and instead realize and enjoy the air seeping through the the new holes in my stifling cover.
Some might propose that I be angry when my safe little space is punctured...
...but I am sick and tired of pretending to agree with them just to feel their false sense of safety.
They have no idea what safety really is anymore because they've fought to forget it. To them, safety is only waiting longer to be hurt.
But I'm not afraid anymore.
After so many merciful tornadoes of guilt and apology- of genuine remorse- only then could enough lovingly chastising branches scrape and invade my little cocoon.
And I have begged for those scrapes and invasions...and now I realize that I needed to be hurt by myself to see that I was holding myself too tightly.
Protecting another is so much more liberating than protecting oneself.
I've had to understand this in the most naked way.
Etiquette for an Apocalypse
12 years ago
1 reaction(s):
So you sound like you're having an Existentialist time coming to terms with some things.
I wish you luck and sekf-control. You seem to be doing well.
It can be hard, to break away from the things that you're familiar with and start something new.
People don't really understand the trip you're on, because they are used to being "safe" and "normal".
Just remember that if it gets insane or to much to deal with. That this is life. I am famous for feeling like I have to apologize for my actions, because they are what "normal people just don't do."
Except, I still do them and often times don't apologize. That's what makes me proud of you.
E.Iguana
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