This one's a downer

I'm going to rant for just a few moments only because I'm getting to the point where I feel I have little to no real joy to escape to in the face of all of the external miseries I'm playing home to on behalf of so many of the people surrounding me.

It's not everyone.
Just a few individuals who I used to trust.

It's not so much the complaining and pathos.
It's that I wanted to be able to keep trusting.
That really says it all.

I feel that I make constant and concerted efforts to maintain a position of trust in the lives of my loved ones as a result of my hopes to provide all of them with one solid thing. One dependable character. And I don't see much of that returned.

Give me something, anything to work with.
I'm tired and running very low on willing contributions to the lives of those who refrain from making real investments back in my person and energy.

So this is it.
I've had it and I'm through.
I'll continue to love and encourage but beyond that I am now receding from my position at the forefront in an effort at fortifying my own individual sense of security and well being.

There's nothing quite so disheartening as admitting to yourself that you gave people too much credit. Too much optimistic hope.
It's like realizing that Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny are not only childish fabrications but they're also stealing something from you.
And all you ever did was look forward to seeing them.

Perhaps this whole Burning Man thing is coming at just the right time.